Success &amp; Personal Development

Sunday, April 26, 2015

4/26/15 Tips for Change - Self Esteem #2

Hi Webbers,

How are you today? What was your weekend like? I had one of those weeks last week that just makes you say really... Can I have a do over. Yes I have those type of weeks too. Friday came I drove home was late to catch my princess which was even worse. Add it up to the way the week was going. Then we made our way to look a new utility vehicle for the wife. Which I had to remind her we were just looking. At the end of it, I had to tell her it is not the right time to buy the vehicle she would like. I took the girls to dinner and had a nice relaxing evening and let all the stress from the week go. Some times it is best to just release it.

Now lets get to the meat of this weeks post dealing with self esteem. As a coach we help with these particular challenges. We are here to get our clients back on track and return to the living. I hope this helps you get a better understanding or a different view. If you know someone this can help please pass it along. If you need a coach I am here for you and always offer a free introductory coaching session.

How to Help a Partner with Low Self-Esteem

It can be heartbreaking to watch someone you love wrestle with their own self-worth. Having a partner with low self-esteem not only hurts them, but it can affect your relationship as well. There are

ways you can help, however.

Understanding Self-Esteem

To really be able to help your partner, you need to understand what self-esteem truly means and where it comes from. The truth is that self-esteem is deeper than just dressing the part. To make real changes, you will need to dig deep. Self-esteem isn't just about feeling good about how you look or having confidence. Self-esteem means having a sense of self-worth and self-respect.

Look to the Past

A lot of times people with low self-esteem feel the way they do because of something that has happened to them in the past. It could even be something they learned from a parent or someone else close to them.

Talk It Out

Without pressuring your partner too much, it may help to talk about their issues. They may or may not be willing to discuss their feelings of self-worth, and might even brush the whole situation off as silly. It's important that you do not force the issue too much, as you want them to come around in their own time and not feel pressured.

Consider Therapy

Sometimes, especially if the situation is particularly bad or is affecting your daily lives, seeing a therapist can help get to the root of the problem. Your partner may be more comfortable talking to a professional, and you need to be okay with that too.

Show Unconditional Love

No matter what, it is very important that you maintain and show your unconditional love for your partner. The very idea that you love them unconditionally, even when they cannot find that love for themselves, is going to be what keeps you both holding on.

Speak Your Affections

Your partner may not understand or realize their self-worth, but you do. Let them know by speaking your affections out loud and often. Avoid making it all about their physical looks, though; remember that self-esteem is much deeper than that. When you can, tell your partner all of the ways that they are a good person and how deserving they are of love and respect.

Be Patient

Teaching another person about themselves is a daunting and sometimes near impossible task. You might be feeling irritated, upset, or your own self-esteem might take a few hits as well. Try to be patient and give your loved one the time and space that they require.

Don't Give Up

Most importantly, don't give up on your partner. Low self-esteem is a deep and complex issue, so it will take time and work. It’s not your job to fix them, but you can help them by having patience and the strength to ensure that they get help.

With patience, love, and determination, you can help your partner overcome their low self-esteem. It may be a tough process with heartbreaking moments, but the two of you can make it through. Have hope and confidence that your partner will eventually, in time, come around and see themselves for the wonderful loving person you know them to be.

As coaches we are here to serve you. You do the work we provide the support. We get you to expand your thoughts and views to see what is possible. We get you to move ahead. I hope this information has helped even if it was just in some small way.

I am ready to tackle my week ahead. I had to shift some things around over the weekend and get my
head back in the game for Monday. This week will be better.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

THANK YOU!

The finest compliment I could ever receive is a referral.

Tim Thomas

Life Coach

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Monday, April 20, 2015

4/20/15 Tips for Change - Self Esteem

Hi Webbers,

I hope all is well. I am busy as usual banging on new ideas and working with clients. My projects are moving along and everything seems to be headed in the right direction.

As I sat at my desk this afternoon. I was looking at my wall and noticed all my inspirational material on the wall.I love reading "Change Your World - Brian Tracy", and "By Changing your thinking - Unknown" I also have a one million dollar bill on my wall (close enough to being real) pure inspiration.

What do you do to keep yourself charged up and moving forward. What about your Self-Esteem? On a scale of 1-10. 1 being the best 10 being the worst. Where are you? Here is some helpful information that may shed some light on your current state. Hopefully these factors will give you a place to start.

Factors That Influence Your Self-Esteem

There are many factors in life that influence your self-esteem. These factors can either build your self-esteem up, or pull you down.

Childhood

Your childhood is one of the main contributing influences to your self-esteem. As you are growing up and your personality and everything else are developing, everyone around you has the potential to influence the person you become - including your self-esteem.

For example, children that grow up in particularly chaotic home environments tend to have lower confidence and self-esteem. Children that grow up in unstable homes tend to carry that burden with them throughout their entire lives.

Society

The pressures of society are a main contributor of low self-esteem. There are so many demands to live a certain way, dress a certain way, have a certain kind of job and act accordingly. These pressures can weigh on you, and succumbing to the pressure can often lead to low self-esteem.

Media

Our absolute obsession with the media, whether it is print ads, television, or social media, contributes to the dilemma of widespread self-esteem issues, especially in today's youth. The ready access of social media especially helps to influence young minds with the pressure to look, act, or otherwise be like celebrities, public figures, or even their peers. It can be hard not to compare yourself to others even as an adult, but young people struggle with this even more than adults.

Beliefs

Some religions and other belief systems can contribute to your sense of self-worth. On the one hand, some religions and belief systems can build you up as a person and fill your life with love and joy. On the other, some religions suggest that people are inherently bad and that you are a “sinner” no matter how you live your life. While no belief system is inherently bad in itself, sometimes these practices and ideas can influence self-esteem.

Friends and Family

The people you spend time with have a big influence on your self-esteem. Your friends can help you build up your confidence, self-image, and self-respect, or they can bring you down. Some people even purposefully bring each other down to build themselves up, whether or not they are aware of what they are doing.

The family that you grew up with, as well as the family that you come home to, can have an effect on your self-esteem as well. Feelings of inadequacy when it comes to providing for your family can add to a low self-esteem, while a family that works together and builds each other up can contribute to a

healthy self-esteem.

Romantic Involvements

All relationships can influence your self-esteem, but romantic relationships tend to have the biggest effect. Being in a happy and loving relationship can boost your self-esteem. On the other hand, a bad relationship can bring you down in so many ways. A bad break-up or being left by a partner can also weigh heavily on your confidence and self-esteem.

Work Environment

You spend so much of your life at work or at school, so it's no wonder that that environment would influence every aspect of your life, including your self-esteem. A stressful and overly demanding job can often contribute to a low self-esteem, while a productive and encouraging workplace can help you grow stronger.

Health

Your overall health can also contribute to your self-esteem. Taking care of yourself, body, mind and spirit can strengthen all aspects of yourself including your self-esteem.

Overall, there are so many factors that can influence your self-esteem. Every part of your life has influence, and therefore has power over your self-esteem. But, the person with the most control over your self-esteem is yourself. Practice giving yourself good messages; avoid self-bullying in order to build up your self-esteem.

I hope this has helped you to shape and change your future. I believe our lives were meant to be lived by our design. I am here to help you become the person you want to be. I want to be your coach and be your partner in designing the life you want to lead.

Contact me today to design your new life.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

Tim Thomas

Life Coach

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Monday, March 30, 2015

Tips For Change Monday 3/30/2015

Good Morning Webbers,

Tim Thomas here and it is 6:00 Monday morning. I have worked out eaten breakfast and ready for my day at the office. I always like to recap my weekends in the first part of my blog. My goal is to work a half day on Fridays from all the time I invest during the week and somehow it never happens. On Fridays I get to take some down time and spend a couple hours with my mom and daughter. It is such a huge developmental boost to my daughter and us to have my mom look over our daughter. I enjoy seeing how close the two of them are together. To this day my daughter still cries when her nani leaves for the day.

Saturday was my wife's birthday so Avery and I went on our excursion (I am a very last minute shopper). We went off to the mall to no avail. We managed to pick up a card, gift bag and a book. My daughter is afraid of the Easter Bunny. I don't really blame her. They look pretty serial. Anywho that through her so far off her game shopping at the mall was done. On the way home we stopped by our local gift store. There we petted a real chic. Avoided the bunny. Olaf got no warm hugs. However Cinderella got a rave review. We acquired the gift. Presented it to my wife. Had our traditional Birthday dinner and home.

Here is an article that does hit home with me and we try to support with our daughter even though she is still at such a young age.

From Self-Consciousness to Self-Confidence - Tips for Parents of Teens

As a parent, it can be painful to watch your teen struggle with self-consciousness and low confidence. Is there anything you can do to help build your teen's self-confidence? Here are some tips.

Learning to Fail

We want our children to be safe, physically and emotionally. But sources say that this can become too much of a good thing. If you feel the need to protect your child from any difficulty - not allowing him to date, for instance, to protect him from a broken heart; or not letting her try out for a sports team because you don't think she'll be the best - then you may end up undermining your teen's self-confidence. Learning how to try and fail and try again is one of life's most important lessons.

You may think that failure will destroy your teen - after all, if you allow him or her to fail, won't that destroy his or her self-confidence? Surprisingly, failure can be an opportunity - it's a chance to self-assess and ultimately build self-confidence.

Equip Your Teen

Letting your teen flounder on his own without providing guidance can compromise his sense of confidence. He needs some practical tools so that he feels confidently equipped to tackle problems and issues in his life. Have heart-to-heart talks about dating, schoolwork, and parental expectations, and arm your teen with practical advice on what to do in these areas of life. Sometimes, teens just need help formulating a plan of action to feel confident.

Don't Always Blame Others

We all know that parent - the mom who yells at the coach when her child strikes out, or the dad who yells at the teacher when his child is reprimanded. But is that parent you? Think carefully - do you tend to take up your teen's cause no matter what and assume the world is against her? Sometimes, in your eagerness to be a friend to your teen, you may forget that sometimes your teen is in the wrong and needs your correction, or at least your admission that she is on the wrong track.

Beautiful Facts

Most teens are not aware that the images they see on television and in magazines are largely staged. Celebrities who seem perfectly beautiful aren't necessarily so - they have the advantage of being able to spend most of every day working on their appearance, and they also have the advantage of a camera lens between themselves and the rest of the world.

Introduce your teen to the deceptive nature of magazine photography and movie cameras, and point out that keeping up appearances can be so exhausting that few celebrities have normal, healthy lives and relationships.

Well Webbers I hope you enjoyed this blog entry on Tips For Change. I am working the bugs out and will have a whole new platform ready by months end. The first quarter is finished for 2015 are you achieving your goals. What is holding you back? You have this one life are living it on your terms. If not I am here to help you.

Isn't it about time you live your life your way. After all it is your life, live it by your design.

Tim Thomas

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Sundays Tip For Change 3/15/15

Hi Webbers,

Sunday is here and I have to say I was an absolute lazy bum this weekend. I spent time with my family and my daughter. I figured we can get back at it on Monday. I am at this stage in life finding that giving back and gratitude are really what life is about. I have always tried to help. However I always felt like I was going against the grain. I was always against my nature. The nature of my true self. It was like a heavy coat I would put on to show the world forget the mask. I am working at striping away the layers. I am getting there and I am on the path.

The big achievement this week is passing my coaching course on working with woman through RMT. YAY me!

This weeks Tip For Change:

Tips to Help Overcome Shyness and Social Awkwardness

Feeling shy or awkward in certain situations is understandable. Don't we all have a little nervousness before we go talk to that guy or girl, or get sweaty palms before giving a speech? For some, though, shyness and social awkwardness may not be circumstantial, but constant. This can be very frustrating and hard to overcome, but there are some things you can do to help overcome your shyness and approach people in social situations. Here are some tips.

Learn to Laugh

There's something about laughter that makes everyone feel more comfortable. This is why "ice breaker" activities at parties are often designed to get the participants laughing. So don't be afraid to laugh at someone's jokes, or learn a few funny lines yourself (not canned "pick-up" lines, but clever observations or comments).

Force Yourself to Stay

Sometimes, shy people feel so uncomfortable in a social situation that they just want it to end; they just want to get away. Consciously resist this impulse. Tell yourself to stand your ground, stay put, and interact. Remember, the other person is not going to breathe fire; he or she just wants to have a conversation and get to know you.

Learn to be Comfortable with Silence

Social situations can feel especially awkward if you are uncomfortable with mutual silence. This may trigger shy people to "babble" to fill the silence, which then makes them feel even more awkward because they feel like what they're saying is silly or nonsensical. So be cool - some silence between people is okay. In fact, it helps give the other person a chance to think before he or she speaks. The person you're speaking with will appreciate this!

Stretch

Just like physical stretching, socially and psychologically stretching can be somewhat uncomfortable, even painful. But also like physical stretching, it's necessary. If your first instinct is to say "No" when someone asks you to do something, stop and think first. Tell the person you will get back to him or her if you aren't sure. This will give you some time to pluck up your courage and say "Yes."

When to Seek a Professional

There is a point when simple shyness and social awkwardness may be an actual disorder. Social anxiety disorder and social phobia are real disorders that may need the help of a professional. The difference between shyness and these disorders is how much it affects your life.

For example, if you are so shy and embarrassed by just the thought of having to introduce yourself to others or attend a party that you go to great lengths to avoid the situation, it might be a social disorder. When it's social anxiety or phobia, you have trouble living a normal and productive life due to your social fears.

THANK YOU!

Webbers I hope you enjoyed reading this and it has brought some ideas or changes you can incorporate into your life. Please pass it on if you know someone that this could benefit.

Isn't it about time you live your life your way. After all it is your life, live it by your design.

Tim Thomas

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Monday, March 9, 2015

Hypnosis Antiquated or Hip?

Hi Webbers,

I hope your week is well. I am having a great week. I have some knee pain going on which is delightful. Since last we spoke I have been sleep deprived due to my young daughter having a nasty cold. I have been working on understanding handwriting in my class and how the sub conscious impacts it.

The great news is I passed my course with RMT on working with women. YAY me!

This weeks article I wanted to speak about hypnosis and how it can help.

What Is Hypnosis?

Can Hypnosis Help Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem?

As an alternative approach, hypnosis is gaining credibility as an effective way to manage low self-esteem and low confidence.

A Real Problem

It's tempting to disregard the whole subject and notion of self-esteem and confidence. Seeking treatment for something so "trivial" may seem silly. But in actuality, low self-esteem and lack of confidence can greatly inhibit your life. For example:

* Lack of confidence puts self-doubt and fear in charge, and those can paralyze you in your efforts toward success.

* People with low self-esteem may end up in destructive relationships, thinking they are not worth anyone who treats them well.

* Without confidence, business ventures may not even be tried and financial success remains elusive.

* Low confidence can greatly inhibit the development of your talents and abilities.

* For some people, lack of self-confidence and self-esteem go so far as to produce feelings of depression and even suicide.

As you can see, low self-esteem and lack of confidence are not just modern psycho-babble. People who struggle with these issues often need help. So can hypnosis do the trick?

Many of us have antiquated images of hypnosis that involve swinging watches and hypnotized people doing humiliating things, such as believing they're a chicken. But hypnosis - or hypnotherapy - is different.

Modern hypnotherapy is more about empowerment than deception. When you undergo
hypnotherapy, you learn to enter into a state of deep relaxation (which is a helpful skill in and of itself!). The hypnosis practitioner or therapist then taps into your inner mind and uses the power of suggestion to help rewire negative brain patterns to create healthier ones.

Hypnotherapists may use guided imagery, taking you through an imaginary scenario step by step, giving you suggestions and approaches to face the problems presented. Hypnotherapy may help in the following areas:

* Assertiveness, a trait often lacking in those with low confidence, may be enhanced by the suggestive power of hypnosis.

* A positive attitude to help you cope with everyday life

* Facing and overcoming any underlying causes or emotions that may contribute to your low self-esteem

* Developing visions and goals for your life

* Confidence in your abilities may be enhanced by hypnotherapy

* Learning positive self-talk

What may make hypnosis so successful is that it can reach those areas of the mind that you simply can't seem to access. It is a technique that bypasses the "walls" you may have put up to keep people from tapping into the real you, and addresses your core self.

I hope you have enjoyed this article and find it of use. As always please feel free to pass it on to someone who could benefit from it.

I use hypnosis in my practice all the time with my clients and it is always amazing to hear about the results.

To learn more feel free to contact me at any of the places below.

Isn't it about time you live your life your way. Remember it is your life, live it by your design.

Tim Thomas

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Sunday, March 1, 2015

3/1/15 SUNDAY DIET EXERCISE & CONFIDENCE

Hi Webbers,

I hope all is well for you and yours today. Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog. Today I wanted to post some information on diet, exercise and confidence. I struggled for the past few years getting my health back in order. I am not there yet but I am that much closer and have learned a lot since that time. My hope is to be able to pass some worthwhile information so others have an easier time than I did.

Today, Is a catch up day where I will be working on a understanding handwriting class which has been very informative. I never knew how much our subconscious could influence our writing. I am also learning my YB12 introductory talk I need to get it done and polished this week.

Enjoy the article below and let me know you thoughts.

How Diet, Exercise, and Confidence Are Connected

Do you struggle with not feeling confident? While therapy and coaching can help, it may also be of benefit to address your diet and exercise schedules.

The Connection

When you eat well and exercise, it may help boost your self-confidence. Why? Here are some thoughts.

* Body image - While exercising won't necessarily result in the perfect body, it does tend to give you a sense that you are being proactive about your health; you're doing the right thing and working toward getting fit. Recognizing this - even if you can't get rid of those love handles - can help you feel more confident in yourself.

* Mood food - The food you eat can affect your mood, sources say, which in turn affects your confidence. Low blood sugar can cause you to feel grouchy and easily annoyed, and a diet high in sugar may contribute to depression (the ultimate in low confidence!). Lean protein combined with complex carbohydrates is a winning combination.

* Endorphins - Exercise stimulates your body to produce endorphins, which are brain chemicals that help you feel good. These substances play a role in relieving depression and improving mood.

* Energy level - If you're struggling with self-confidence, feeling sluggish doesn't help. Exercise and a healthy diet are key elements to feeling energetic and, ultimately, confident.

* Vitamins and minerals - Your confidence is affected by how you look and feel, and getting the right

vitamins and minerals is important for things like teeth, skin, and hair. When these aspects of your appearance are healthy and at their optimum, it helps you feel better about yourself.

Specifically, some vitamins and minerals are directly implicated in improving mood and, consequently, confidence. These include B-complex vitamins and Vitamin D. In fact, fat-soluble Vitamin D is sometimes used by medical professionals to treat Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). When you are getting the right amount of key vitamins and minerals, you are much more likely to feel confident in yourself.

* Productivity - When your energy and confidence levels are up due to exercise and diet, you are much more likely to be more productive in work, school, and relationships. And this becomes a positive cycle - increased productivity boosts your confidence even more.

* Positive effects - If you begin to exercise and eat healthfully, you may find yourself looking better - you may experience weight loss, better muscle tone, and healthier skin. Looking in the mirror and liking what you see can go a long way toward boosting confidence!

I believe in helping people change. I enjoy hearing from my readers and look forward to working with many of you in the future. If you are in need of my coaching services please contact me. My information is below. If you know someone who may benefit from this blog or my services, please pass it on. Until my next entry. Take care.

Isn't it about time you live your life your way. After all it is your life, live it by your design.

Tim Thomas

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980