Sunday, April 26, 2015

4/26/15 Tips for Change - Self Esteem #2

tim thomas life coach
Hi Webbers,

How are you today? What was your weekend like? I had one of those weeks last week that just makes you say really... Can I have a do over. Yes I have those type of weeks too. Friday came I drove home was late to catch my princess which was even worse. Add it up to the way the week was going. Then we made our way to look a new utility vehicle for the wife. Which I had to remind her we were just looking. At the end of it, I had to tell her it is not the right time to buy the vehicle she would like. I took the girls to dinner and had a nice relaxing evening and let all the stress from the week go. Some times it is best to just release it.

Now lets get to the meat of this weeks post dealing with self esteem. As a coach we help with these particular challenges. We are here to get our clients back on track and return to the living. I hope this helps you get a better understanding or a different view. If you know someone this can help please pass it along. If you need a coach I am here for you and always offer a free introductory coaching session.

How to Help a Partner with Low Self-Esteem


It can be heartbreaking to watch someone you love wrestle with their own self-worth. Having a partner with low self-esteem not only hurts them, but it can affect your relationship as well. There are
ways you can help, however.

Understanding Self-Esteem

tim thomas life designTo really be able to help your partner, you need to understand what self-esteem truly means and where it comes from. The truth is that self-esteem is deeper than just dressing the part. To make real changes, you will need to dig deep. Self-esteem isn't just about feeling good about how you look or having confidence. Self-esteem means having a sense of self-worth and self-respect.

Look to the Past

A lot of times people with low self-esteem feel the way they do because of something that has happened to them in the past. It could even be something they learned from a parent or someone else close to them.

Talk It Out

Without pressuring your partner too much, it may help to talk about their issues. They may or may not be willing to discuss their feelings of self-worth, and might even brush the whole situation off as silly. It's important that you do not force the issue too much, as you want them to come around in their own time and not feel pressured.

Consider Therapy

Sometimes, especially if the situation is particularly bad or is affecting your daily lives, seeing a therapist can help get to the root of the problem. Your partner may be more comfortable talking to a professional, and you need to be okay with that too.

Show Unconditional Love

No matter what, it is very important that you maintain and show your unconditional love for your partner. The very idea that you love them unconditionally, even when they cannot find that love for themselves, is going to be what keeps you both holding on.

Speak Your Affections

Your partner may not understand or realize their self-worth, but you do. Let them know by speaking your affections out loud and often. Avoid making it all about their physical looks, though; remember that self-esteem is much deeper than that. When you can, tell your partner all of the ways that they are a good person and how deserving they are of love and respect.

tim thomas life coach
Be Patient

Teaching another person about themselves is a daunting and sometimes near impossible task. You might be feeling irritated, upset, or your own self-esteem might take a few hits as well. Try to be patient and give your loved one the time and space that they require.

Don't Give Up

Most importantly, don't give up on your partner. Low self-esteem is a deep and complex issue, so it will take time and work. It’s not your job to fix them, but you can help them by having patience and the strength to ensure that they get help.

With patience, love, and determination, you can help your partner overcome their low self-esteem. It may be a tough process with heartbreaking moments, but the two of you can make it through. Have hope and confidence that your partner will eventually, in time, come around and see themselves for the wonderful loving person you know them to be.

As coaches we are here to serve you. You do the work we provide the support. We get you to expand your thoughts and views to see what is possible. We get you to move ahead. I hope this information has helped even if it was just in some small way.

I am ready to tackle my week ahead. I had to shift some things around over the weekend and get my
head back in the game for Monday. This week will be better.
tim thomas life design

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

THANK YOU!

The finest compliment I could ever receive is a referral.

Tim Thomas
Life Coach
A Life by Design Company
PO Box 4327
Manchester, NH 03108
Tel: 603-682-4980


Monday, April 20, 2015

4/20/15 Tips for Change - Self Esteem

Hi Webbers,
self esteem

I hope all is well. I am busy as usual banging on new ideas and working with clients. My projects are moving along and everything seems to be headed in the right direction.

As I sat at my desk this afternoon. I was looking at my wall and noticed all my inspirational material on the wall.I love reading "Change Your World - Brian Tracy", and "By Changing your thinking - Unknown" I also have a one million dollar bill on my wall (close enough to being real) pure inspiration.

What do you do to keep yourself charged up and moving forward. What about your Self-Esteem? On a scale of 1-10. 1 being the best 10 being the worst. Where are you? Here is some helpful information that may shed some light on your current state. Hopefully these factors will give you a place to start.

Factors That Influence Your Self-Esteem


There are many factors in life that influence your self-esteem. These factors can either build your self-esteem up, or pull you down.

self esteem
Childhood

Your childhood is one of the main contributing influences to your self-esteem. As you are growing up and your personality and everything else are developing, everyone around you has the potential to influence the person you become - including your self-esteem.

For example, children that grow up in particularly chaotic home environments tend to have lower confidence and self-esteem. Children that grow up in unstable homes tend to carry that burden with them throughout their entire lives.

Society

The pressures of society are a main contributor of low self-esteem. There are so many demands to live a certain way, dress a certain way, have a certain kind of job and act accordingly. These pressures can weigh on you, and succumbing to the pressure can often lead to low self-esteem.

Media

Our absolute obsession with the media, whether it is print ads, television, or social media, contributes to the dilemma of widespread self-esteem issues, especially in today's youth. The ready access of social media especially helps to influence young minds with the pressure to look, act, or otherwise be like celebrities, public figures, or even their peers. It can be hard not to compare yourself to others even as an adult, but young people struggle with this even more than adults.

Beliefs

Some religions and other belief systems can contribute to your sense of self-worth. On the one hand, some religions and belief systems can build you up as a person and fill your life with love and joy. On the other, some religions suggest that people are inherently bad and that you are a “sinner” no matter how you live your life. While no belief system is inherently bad in itself, sometimes these practices and ideas can influence self-esteem.

Friends and Family

The people you spend time with have a big influence on your self-esteem. Your friends can help you build up your confidence, self-image, and self-respect, or they can bring you down. Some people even purposefully bring each other down to build themselves up, whether or not they are aware of what they are doing.

The family that you grew up with, as well as the family that you come home to, can have an effect on your self-esteem as well. Feelings of inadequacy when it comes to providing for your family can add to a low self-esteem, while a family that works together and builds each other up can contribute to a
self esteem
healthy self-esteem.

Romantic Involvements

All relationships can influence your self-esteem, but romantic relationships tend to have the biggest effect. Being in a happy and loving relationship can boost your self-esteem. On the other hand, a bad relationship can bring you down in so many ways. A bad break-up or being left by a partner can also weigh heavily on your confidence and self-esteem.

Work Environment

You spend so much of your life at work or at school, so it's no wonder that that environment would influence every aspect of your life, including your self-esteem. A stressful and overly demanding job can often contribute to a low self-esteem, while a productive and encouraging workplace can help you grow stronger.

Health

Your overall health can also contribute to your self-esteem. Taking care of yourself, body, mind and spirit can strengthen all aspects of yourself including your self-esteem.

Overall, there are so many factors that can influence your self-esteem. Every part of your life has influence, and therefore has power over your self-esteem. But, the person with the most control over your self-esteem is yourself. Practice giving yourself good messages; avoid self-bullying in order to build up your self-esteem.

self esteem


I hope this has helped you to shape and change your future. I believe our lives were meant to be lived by our design. I am here to help you become the person you want to be. I want to be your coach and be your partner in designing the life you want to lead.

Contact me today to design your new life.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.


Tim Thomas
Life Coach
A Life by Design Company
PO Box 4327
Manchester, NH 03108
Tel: 603-682-4980