Success &amp; Personal Development

Monday, May 18, 2015

5/18/15 TIPS FOR CHANGE - REGAINING SELF-ESTEEM AFTER A SETBACK

Hi Webbers,

How is your Monday going? Did you have a good day? What made it good? The weather was nice today. That always makes my day better!

I have been hitting the books pretty hard these days. I feel like I am in a non stop cycle of reading and learning and doing. Never mind my everyday business of designing and coaching. Busy busy busy.

I realized today I am overfat and need to get busy. I believe I just past my comfort zone and now there is more pain than pleasure.

Here is this weeks Tips For Change:

Regaining Self-Esteem after a Setback

A setback in your self-esteem can be an almost debilitating blow. Job losses, break-ups, and fights
with your best friend or gaining five pounds after losing twenty can all set you back. The list of potential setbacks in your self-esteem is endless. No matter what event or bad day has thrown you back, however, you can make a comeback. You can regain your self-esteem.

Understanding Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is your inner sense of self-worth and self-respect. Sometimes, in the wake of a setback, it can feel difficult to acknowledge or truly feel that you are worthy of even your own respect. This drop in self-esteem can lead to bigger problems and really diminish your quality of life as a whole.

Consider a Different Perspective

Sometimes the best course of action to come back from a setback like this is to look outside yourself. Consider your entire ordeal from a different perspective. It may help you shine some light on the issue at hand, and help you overcome your loss of confidence.

Here are some perspectives you can try:

* Walk in someone else’s shoes - Everybody makes mistakes, and there are no exceptions to that rule. No one is perfect, but that doesn't mean that they aren't worthy of love and respect. To put this in perspective, try seeing your situation from an outsider's point of view. If someone else, especially someone you love, had gone through the same ordeal or made the same mistakes, would you want them to wrestle with low self-esteem? If the person that you are picturing is worthy of self-respect, then so are you.

* Setback or step up? - If your setback comes in the form of a life event such as a break-up or job loss, try considering the event as a step forward instead of a setback. Whatever happens, you are always moving forward with your life. This event is just another stepping stone to what will surely be a bright future.

* Understand your place in the world - Another perspective to consider is your overall place in the world. Sometimes remembering how many people there are on this planet, and how inexplicably big the universe is, can make your ordeal feel so much smaller.

Consider the Positives

When you've put your ordeal into perspective, consider also the positives of the situation. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself all your favorite things about yourself - your bright and beautiful eyes, your amazing smile, and your fun sense of humor. Start thinking about everything good you have, both inside and outside.

Know You Are Worthy

Remember that no matter what happens in life, no matter what mistakes you might have made or what setbacks have held you down, that you are worthy. You are worthy of the love and respect of the most important person in your life - you.

Treat Yourself

To prove your love, do something to treat yourself. Get your hair done, go for a run, or buy a new outfit. Take a course or do something that makes you feel good that is not addictive or dangerous.

A blow to your self-esteem can be crippling if you let it. The strongest weapon in your arsenal, however, is yourself. You can overcome this hurdle, but you must first believe in yourself.

That is all I have for today Webbers. As always please feel free to pass this on. I am always looking to talk and bring on more fans, customers or clients.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

THANK YOU!

The finest compliment I could ever receive is a referral.

Tim Thomas

Life Coach

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Sunday, May 10, 2015

5/10/2015 TIPS FOR CHANGE - LOW SELF ESTEEM A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY?

Hi Webbers,

Tim Thomas here for another exciting week of Tips for Change! I can only tell you my week has been filled with so much frustration I literally had to give up. I had to let the chips fall where they may. I feel better for it believe it or not. As always I have way to much going on. It is truly a balancing act from day to day to give every part of my the attention it deserves.

We were going to forego vacation this year due to some obligations I needed to meet. After this past Tuesday I took a good look at myself and said really is this truly worth it. My family understood why we were not going to go. I sat down ordered our travel buddy. It is a tradition we have that we take pictures with a figure just to add some more fun to the pictures my daughter loves it. After that I booked our stay up in our favorite little getaway. We are going and the phones and laptop are staying. We are off to the room with the telephone.

Next I am reading a great book which may have influenced some of the changes I am incorporating
in my life. My mom saw the book and picked it up. She knows I enjoy reading anything on self development. Thanks Mom and Happy Mothers Day I hope you are having a great day. The title of the book is THE ONE-LIFE SOLUTION by Dr. Henry Cloud. I am not sure if it can be bought on Amazon or not.

What are you reading to enhance your daily life? What changes are you making to improve your life? As a coach I am curious about these things and love to help people find their way? Can I be of service to you or someone you know?

Is Low Self-Esteem a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?

Sometimes, a person’s fears can become so strong that they play themselves out; becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. This happens a lot for people with low self-esteem. Low self-esteem itself can easily become somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it doesn't have to stay that way.

What Is Self-Esteem?

Many people are unaware of the true definition of self-esteem. It is much deeper than self-confidence, and even deeper than believing in one's self. Truthfully, self-esteem is a measure of one's self-worth and self-respect. It is important to realize that you are worthy of happiness, of love, and of every good in the world.

Understanding a Vicious Cycle

Often, self-esteem circles in on itself and creates a vicious cycle. For example, the person feels that they are not worthy or good enough for a promotion and so they don't bother applying; therefore they don't get the position, causing them to feel even worse about his or herself.

Where Does It Start?

A lot of times a low self-esteem begins somewhere during childhood. There might have been a tragic

event, abusive behavior either towards the child or within sight, or it could be learned from a parent. Other times a tragic event or setback can cause low self-esteem.

Where Does It End?

There is an end to the vicious cycle, but it is up to the person to truly find themselves and believe in a better path. Sometimes it takes the help of loved ones or even therapists to overcome the power of low self-esteem.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Low self-esteem can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Allowing yourself to think that you aren't worth something good happening and not working towards improvement will help those self-depreciating ideas flourish and eventually come to life.

It Doesn't Have to Be This Way

Low self-esteem doesn't have to be there forever. It is possible to overcome the ties of low self-worth and learn to love and respect one's self. The cycle can be broken.

How to Overcome

Anyone can overcome low self-esteem and break the vicious cycle of the self-fulfilling prophecy. Sometimes it takes the help of friends, family, and other loved ones. When it comes down to it, though, it is ultimately up to that person to learn their own self-worth.

You Have the Power

If you struggle with low self-esteem and find yourself in a cycle of unfortunate circumstance, know that you have the power to bring yourself up and break the cycle. Know that you are a beautiful, wonderful person that is both capable and deserving of love and respect, both from others and from yourself.

Self-esteem can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it doesn't have to. Understanding the cycle and where low self-esteem comes from are the first steps to breaking the cycle. After that, it is up to the person to truly find the self-worth and respect to do better for themselves.

Well Webbers that is the tip for the week. How will you change? Know someone who could use this or my help please pass it on. I offer a free first session. No matter the outcome I am sure you will get great value from it.

My last note I will leave you with is New England Warrior Camp is creeping up on us. If you are a martial artist this is a must if you can get to or are in the New England area. Check out NEWC This Martial Arts Camp is run by my friend Ken Savage. Come Explore, Challenge and Develop your Warrior Spirit.

That is it for now Webbers have a great week and I look forward to speaking to you again.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

THANK YOU!

The finest compliment I could ever receive is a referral.

Tim Thomas

Life Coach

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Monday, May 4, 2015

5/4/2015 Tips for Change - Maintain your Self Esteem

Hi Webbers,

I can't believe it is Monday already. I spent a lot of my weekend working on projects. I am busier than I have been in a long time. In turn I am tired. I had a lot of appointments today that required driving so I am worn out at this moment. I love getting out my tips for change and look forward to it no matter how tired I am.

I hope you will enjoy this edition on how to maintain your self esteem.

Dumped? How to Maintain Your Self-Esteem

A bad break-up can be a major blow to your happiness, but getting dumped can really affect your self-esteem. It is hard not to succumb to the sadness and self-loathing that getting dumped can bring on. But after you're all cried out, how do you maintain your self-esteem?

Take a Breath

First of all, take a deep breath. Sometimes the shock of being dumped can make it feel like you're
drowning. So breathe and keep your head above water.

It's Not You

Whether your partner dumped you because of their own reasons or because of something they feel you did, know that ultimately it isn't your fault. There is no point in trying to find blame or pointing fingers at yourself, which will only serve to make you feel worse.

Remember You

Ultimately, you are the most important person here. You need to focus on yourself and remember that you are a wonderful person who is deserving of love and respect. If you can't give yourself that love and respect, how can you expect anyone else to? Take this time to remember yourself and think of all the reasons why you love yourself.

Get Some Perspective

Sometimes it helps to look at things from an outside perspective. Imagine that one of your friends or loved ones is in the same position that you are in right now. Would you want them to blame themselves, or feel that it is their fault? Would you think that they deserve to wallow in that much misery and give up their self-worth?

If your friend or loved one doesn't deserve to be treated that way, neither do you. Remember that.

Find Someone to Talk To

Don't suffer in silence. You are more likely to dig yourself deeper into despair and let your self-esteem slip. Instead, ask a friend or loved one to spend some time with you, and talk it out. Not only will it feel better to have a sounding board, but they will be able to hand you some much-needed perspective so you don't find fault in every detail.

Talk Yourself Up

Make a list of all the things that you love about yourself, and all of the good things you have to offer not just someone else, but also yourself. You can start with physical attributes, but make sure to include things about your personality. After you make this list, read it often as a reminder of how wonderful you are. If it helps, try reading them out loud.

Treat Yourself

To celebrate you, treat yourself to something special. Something small such as a home spa treatment or a run can do wonders for how you feel. Anything you can do that makes you smile and is healthy, that lets you remember how good life is will help.

Don't Let Go

Whatever you do, keep your head above water and don't let go of yourself. Do not allow what

someone else says or does diminish your self-esteem, because you are worth more than that. You are important even when you are not part of a couple.

Being dumped is hard; there is no doubt about that. You are strong enough, however, to keep your head up and move on. Find solace in the fact that you are a wonderful, beautiful person and no one can take that away unless you let them. You can maintain your self-esteem by holding on to you, no matter what.

I tell you I wish I knew some of these tools when I was younger. I wonder how much further ahead I might be in life.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

THANK YOU!

The finest compliment I could ever receive is a referral.

Tim Thomas

Life Coach

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980