Success &amp; Personal Development

Monday, May 18, 2015

5/18/15 TIPS FOR CHANGE - REGAINING SELF-ESTEEM AFTER A SETBACK

Hi Webbers,

How is your Monday going? Did you have a good day? What made it good? The weather was nice today. That always makes my day better!

I have been hitting the books pretty hard these days. I feel like I am in a non stop cycle of reading and learning and doing. Never mind my everyday business of designing and coaching. Busy busy busy.

I realized today I am overfat and need to get busy. I believe I just past my comfort zone and now there is more pain than pleasure.

Here is this weeks Tips For Change:

Regaining Self-Esteem after a Setback

A setback in your self-esteem can be an almost debilitating blow. Job losses, break-ups, and fights
with your best friend or gaining five pounds after losing twenty can all set you back. The list of potential setbacks in your self-esteem is endless. No matter what event or bad day has thrown you back, however, you can make a comeback. You can regain your self-esteem.

Understanding Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is your inner sense of self-worth and self-respect. Sometimes, in the wake of a setback, it can feel difficult to acknowledge or truly feel that you are worthy of even your own respect. This drop in self-esteem can lead to bigger problems and really diminish your quality of life as a whole.

Consider a Different Perspective

Sometimes the best course of action to come back from a setback like this is to look outside yourself. Consider your entire ordeal from a different perspective. It may help you shine some light on the issue at hand, and help you overcome your loss of confidence.

Here are some perspectives you can try:

* Walk in someone else’s shoes - Everybody makes mistakes, and there are no exceptions to that rule. No one is perfect, but that doesn't mean that they aren't worthy of love and respect. To put this in perspective, try seeing your situation from an outsider's point of view. If someone else, especially someone you love, had gone through the same ordeal or made the same mistakes, would you want them to wrestle with low self-esteem? If the person that you are picturing is worthy of self-respect, then so are you.

* Setback or step up? - If your setback comes in the form of a life event such as a break-up or job loss, try considering the event as a step forward instead of a setback. Whatever happens, you are always moving forward with your life. This event is just another stepping stone to what will surely be a bright future.

* Understand your place in the world - Another perspective to consider is your overall place in the world. Sometimes remembering how many people there are on this planet, and how inexplicably big the universe is, can make your ordeal feel so much smaller.

Consider the Positives

When you've put your ordeal into perspective, consider also the positives of the situation. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself all your favorite things about yourself - your bright and beautiful eyes, your amazing smile, and your fun sense of humor. Start thinking about everything good you have, both inside and outside.

Know You Are Worthy

Remember that no matter what happens in life, no matter what mistakes you might have made or what setbacks have held you down, that you are worthy. You are worthy of the love and respect of the most important person in your life - you.

Treat Yourself

To prove your love, do something to treat yourself. Get your hair done, go for a run, or buy a new outfit. Take a course or do something that makes you feel good that is not addictive or dangerous.

A blow to your self-esteem can be crippling if you let it. The strongest weapon in your arsenal, however, is yourself. You can overcome this hurdle, but you must first believe in yourself.

That is all I have for today Webbers. As always please feel free to pass this on. I am always looking to talk and bring on more fans, customers or clients.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

THANK YOU!

The finest compliment I could ever receive is a referral.

Tim Thomas

Life Coach

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Sunday, May 10, 2015

5/10/2015 TIPS FOR CHANGE - LOW SELF ESTEEM A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY?

Hi Webbers,

Tim Thomas here for another exciting week of Tips for Change! I can only tell you my week has been filled with so much frustration I literally had to give up. I had to let the chips fall where they may. I feel better for it believe it or not. As always I have way to much going on. It is truly a balancing act from day to day to give every part of my the attention it deserves.

We were going to forego vacation this year due to some obligations I needed to meet. After this past Tuesday I took a good look at myself and said really is this truly worth it. My family understood why we were not going to go. I sat down ordered our travel buddy. It is a tradition we have that we take pictures with a figure just to add some more fun to the pictures my daughter loves it. After that I booked our stay up in our favorite little getaway. We are going and the phones and laptop are staying. We are off to the room with the telephone.

Next I am reading a great book which may have influenced some of the changes I am incorporating
in my life. My mom saw the book and picked it up. She knows I enjoy reading anything on self development. Thanks Mom and Happy Mothers Day I hope you are having a great day. The title of the book is THE ONE-LIFE SOLUTION by Dr. Henry Cloud. I am not sure if it can be bought on Amazon or not.

What are you reading to enhance your daily life? What changes are you making to improve your life? As a coach I am curious about these things and love to help people find their way? Can I be of service to you or someone you know?

Is Low Self-Esteem a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?

Sometimes, a person’s fears can become so strong that they play themselves out; becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. This happens a lot for people with low self-esteem. Low self-esteem itself can easily become somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it doesn't have to stay that way.

What Is Self-Esteem?

Many people are unaware of the true definition of self-esteem. It is much deeper than self-confidence, and even deeper than believing in one's self. Truthfully, self-esteem is a measure of one's self-worth and self-respect. It is important to realize that you are worthy of happiness, of love, and of every good in the world.

Understanding a Vicious Cycle

Often, self-esteem circles in on itself and creates a vicious cycle. For example, the person feels that they are not worthy or good enough for a promotion and so they don't bother applying; therefore they don't get the position, causing them to feel even worse about his or herself.

Where Does It Start?

A lot of times a low self-esteem begins somewhere during childhood. There might have been a tragic

event, abusive behavior either towards the child or within sight, or it could be learned from a parent. Other times a tragic event or setback can cause low self-esteem.

Where Does It End?

There is an end to the vicious cycle, but it is up to the person to truly find themselves and believe in a better path. Sometimes it takes the help of loved ones or even therapists to overcome the power of low self-esteem.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Low self-esteem can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Allowing yourself to think that you aren't worth something good happening and not working towards improvement will help those self-depreciating ideas flourish and eventually come to life.

It Doesn't Have to Be This Way

Low self-esteem doesn't have to be there forever. It is possible to overcome the ties of low self-worth and learn to love and respect one's self. The cycle can be broken.

How to Overcome

Anyone can overcome low self-esteem and break the vicious cycle of the self-fulfilling prophecy. Sometimes it takes the help of friends, family, and other loved ones. When it comes down to it, though, it is ultimately up to that person to learn their own self-worth.

You Have the Power

If you struggle with low self-esteem and find yourself in a cycle of unfortunate circumstance, know that you have the power to bring yourself up and break the cycle. Know that you are a beautiful, wonderful person that is both capable and deserving of love and respect, both from others and from yourself.

Self-esteem can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it doesn't have to. Understanding the cycle and where low self-esteem comes from are the first steps to breaking the cycle. After that, it is up to the person to truly find the self-worth and respect to do better for themselves.

Well Webbers that is the tip for the week. How will you change? Know someone who could use this or my help please pass it on. I offer a free first session. No matter the outcome I am sure you will get great value from it.

My last note I will leave you with is New England Warrior Camp is creeping up on us. If you are a martial artist this is a must if you can get to or are in the New England area. Check out NEWC This Martial Arts Camp is run by my friend Ken Savage. Come Explore, Challenge and Develop your Warrior Spirit.

That is it for now Webbers have a great week and I look forward to speaking to you again.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

THANK YOU!

The finest compliment I could ever receive is a referral.

Tim Thomas

Life Coach

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Monday, May 4, 2015

5/4/2015 Tips for Change - Maintain your Self Esteem

Hi Webbers,

I can't believe it is Monday already. I spent a lot of my weekend working on projects. I am busier than I have been in a long time. In turn I am tired. I had a lot of appointments today that required driving so I am worn out at this moment. I love getting out my tips for change and look forward to it no matter how tired I am.

I hope you will enjoy this edition on how to maintain your self esteem.

Dumped? How to Maintain Your Self-Esteem

A bad break-up can be a major blow to your happiness, but getting dumped can really affect your self-esteem. It is hard not to succumb to the sadness and self-loathing that getting dumped can bring on. But after you're all cried out, how do you maintain your self-esteem?

Take a Breath

First of all, take a deep breath. Sometimes the shock of being dumped can make it feel like you're
drowning. So breathe and keep your head above water.

It's Not You

Whether your partner dumped you because of their own reasons or because of something they feel you did, know that ultimately it isn't your fault. There is no point in trying to find blame or pointing fingers at yourself, which will only serve to make you feel worse.

Remember You

Ultimately, you are the most important person here. You need to focus on yourself and remember that you are a wonderful person who is deserving of love and respect. If you can't give yourself that love and respect, how can you expect anyone else to? Take this time to remember yourself and think of all the reasons why you love yourself.

Get Some Perspective

Sometimes it helps to look at things from an outside perspective. Imagine that one of your friends or loved ones is in the same position that you are in right now. Would you want them to blame themselves, or feel that it is their fault? Would you think that they deserve to wallow in that much misery and give up their self-worth?

If your friend or loved one doesn't deserve to be treated that way, neither do you. Remember that.

Find Someone to Talk To

Don't suffer in silence. You are more likely to dig yourself deeper into despair and let your self-esteem slip. Instead, ask a friend or loved one to spend some time with you, and talk it out. Not only will it feel better to have a sounding board, but they will be able to hand you some much-needed perspective so you don't find fault in every detail.

Talk Yourself Up

Make a list of all the things that you love about yourself, and all of the good things you have to offer not just someone else, but also yourself. You can start with physical attributes, but make sure to include things about your personality. After you make this list, read it often as a reminder of how wonderful you are. If it helps, try reading them out loud.

Treat Yourself

To celebrate you, treat yourself to something special. Something small such as a home spa treatment or a run can do wonders for how you feel. Anything you can do that makes you smile and is healthy, that lets you remember how good life is will help.

Don't Let Go

Whatever you do, keep your head above water and don't let go of yourself. Do not allow what

someone else says or does diminish your self-esteem, because you are worth more than that. You are important even when you are not part of a couple.

Being dumped is hard; there is no doubt about that. You are strong enough, however, to keep your head up and move on. Find solace in the fact that you are a wonderful, beautiful person and no one can take that away unless you let them. You can maintain your self-esteem by holding on to you, no matter what.

I tell you I wish I knew some of these tools when I was younger. I wonder how much further ahead I might be in life.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

THANK YOU!

The finest compliment I could ever receive is a referral.

Tim Thomas

Life Coach

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Sunday, April 26, 2015

4/26/15 Tips for Change - Self Esteem #2

Hi Webbers,

How are you today? What was your weekend like? I had one of those weeks last week that just makes you say really... Can I have a do over. Yes I have those type of weeks too. Friday came I drove home was late to catch my princess which was even worse. Add it up to the way the week was going. Then we made our way to look a new utility vehicle for the wife. Which I had to remind her we were just looking. At the end of it, I had to tell her it is not the right time to buy the vehicle she would like. I took the girls to dinner and had a nice relaxing evening and let all the stress from the week go. Some times it is best to just release it.

Now lets get to the meat of this weeks post dealing with self esteem. As a coach we help with these particular challenges. We are here to get our clients back on track and return to the living. I hope this helps you get a better understanding or a different view. If you know someone this can help please pass it along. If you need a coach I am here for you and always offer a free introductory coaching session.

How to Help a Partner with Low Self-Esteem

It can be heartbreaking to watch someone you love wrestle with their own self-worth. Having a partner with low self-esteem not only hurts them, but it can affect your relationship as well. There are

ways you can help, however.

Understanding Self-Esteem

To really be able to help your partner, you need to understand what self-esteem truly means and where it comes from. The truth is that self-esteem is deeper than just dressing the part. To make real changes, you will need to dig deep. Self-esteem isn't just about feeling good about how you look or having confidence. Self-esteem means having a sense of self-worth and self-respect.

Look to the Past

A lot of times people with low self-esteem feel the way they do because of something that has happened to them in the past. It could even be something they learned from a parent or someone else close to them.

Talk It Out

Without pressuring your partner too much, it may help to talk about their issues. They may or may not be willing to discuss their feelings of self-worth, and might even brush the whole situation off as silly. It's important that you do not force the issue too much, as you want them to come around in their own time and not feel pressured.

Consider Therapy

Sometimes, especially if the situation is particularly bad or is affecting your daily lives, seeing a therapist can help get to the root of the problem. Your partner may be more comfortable talking to a professional, and you need to be okay with that too.

Show Unconditional Love

No matter what, it is very important that you maintain and show your unconditional love for your partner. The very idea that you love them unconditionally, even when they cannot find that love for themselves, is going to be what keeps you both holding on.

Speak Your Affections

Your partner may not understand or realize their self-worth, but you do. Let them know by speaking your affections out loud and often. Avoid making it all about their physical looks, though; remember that self-esteem is much deeper than that. When you can, tell your partner all of the ways that they are a good person and how deserving they are of love and respect.

Be Patient

Teaching another person about themselves is a daunting and sometimes near impossible task. You might be feeling irritated, upset, or your own self-esteem might take a few hits as well. Try to be patient and give your loved one the time and space that they require.

Don't Give Up

Most importantly, don't give up on your partner. Low self-esteem is a deep and complex issue, so it will take time and work. It’s not your job to fix them, but you can help them by having patience and the strength to ensure that they get help.

With patience, love, and determination, you can help your partner overcome their low self-esteem. It may be a tough process with heartbreaking moments, but the two of you can make it through. Have hope and confidence that your partner will eventually, in time, come around and see themselves for the wonderful loving person you know them to be.

As coaches we are here to serve you. You do the work we provide the support. We get you to expand your thoughts and views to see what is possible. We get you to move ahead. I hope this information has helped even if it was just in some small way.

I am ready to tackle my week ahead. I had to shift some things around over the weekend and get my
head back in the game for Monday. This week will be better.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

THANK YOU!

The finest compliment I could ever receive is a referral.

Tim Thomas

Life Coach

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Monday, April 20, 2015

4/20/15 Tips for Change - Self Esteem

Hi Webbers,

I hope all is well. I am busy as usual banging on new ideas and working with clients. My projects are moving along and everything seems to be headed in the right direction.

As I sat at my desk this afternoon. I was looking at my wall and noticed all my inspirational material on the wall.I love reading "Change Your World - Brian Tracy", and "By Changing your thinking - Unknown" I also have a one million dollar bill on my wall (close enough to being real) pure inspiration.

What do you do to keep yourself charged up and moving forward. What about your Self-Esteem? On a scale of 1-10. 1 being the best 10 being the worst. Where are you? Here is some helpful information that may shed some light on your current state. Hopefully these factors will give you a place to start.

Factors That Influence Your Self-Esteem

There are many factors in life that influence your self-esteem. These factors can either build your self-esteem up, or pull you down.

Childhood

Your childhood is one of the main contributing influences to your self-esteem. As you are growing up and your personality and everything else are developing, everyone around you has the potential to influence the person you become - including your self-esteem.

For example, children that grow up in particularly chaotic home environments tend to have lower confidence and self-esteem. Children that grow up in unstable homes tend to carry that burden with them throughout their entire lives.

Society

The pressures of society are a main contributor of low self-esteem. There are so many demands to live a certain way, dress a certain way, have a certain kind of job and act accordingly. These pressures can weigh on you, and succumbing to the pressure can often lead to low self-esteem.

Media

Our absolute obsession with the media, whether it is print ads, television, or social media, contributes to the dilemma of widespread self-esteem issues, especially in today's youth. The ready access of social media especially helps to influence young minds with the pressure to look, act, or otherwise be like celebrities, public figures, or even their peers. It can be hard not to compare yourself to others even as an adult, but young people struggle with this even more than adults.

Beliefs

Some religions and other belief systems can contribute to your sense of self-worth. On the one hand, some religions and belief systems can build you up as a person and fill your life with love and joy. On the other, some religions suggest that people are inherently bad and that you are a “sinner” no matter how you live your life. While no belief system is inherently bad in itself, sometimes these practices and ideas can influence self-esteem.

Friends and Family

The people you spend time with have a big influence on your self-esteem. Your friends can help you build up your confidence, self-image, and self-respect, or they can bring you down. Some people even purposefully bring each other down to build themselves up, whether or not they are aware of what they are doing.

The family that you grew up with, as well as the family that you come home to, can have an effect on your self-esteem as well. Feelings of inadequacy when it comes to providing for your family can add to a low self-esteem, while a family that works together and builds each other up can contribute to a

healthy self-esteem.

Romantic Involvements

All relationships can influence your self-esteem, but romantic relationships tend to have the biggest effect. Being in a happy and loving relationship can boost your self-esteem. On the other hand, a bad relationship can bring you down in so many ways. A bad break-up or being left by a partner can also weigh heavily on your confidence and self-esteem.

Work Environment

You spend so much of your life at work or at school, so it's no wonder that that environment would influence every aspect of your life, including your self-esteem. A stressful and overly demanding job can often contribute to a low self-esteem, while a productive and encouraging workplace can help you grow stronger.

Health

Your overall health can also contribute to your self-esteem. Taking care of yourself, body, mind and spirit can strengthen all aspects of yourself including your self-esteem.

Overall, there are so many factors that can influence your self-esteem. Every part of your life has influence, and therefore has power over your self-esteem. But, the person with the most control over your self-esteem is yourself. Practice giving yourself good messages; avoid self-bullying in order to build up your self-esteem.

I hope this has helped you to shape and change your future. I believe our lives were meant to be lived by our design. I am here to help you become the person you want to be. I want to be your coach and be your partner in designing the life you want to lead.

Contact me today to design your new life.

After all it is your life, live it by your design.

Tim Thomas

Life Coach

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

Monday, March 30, 2015

Tips For Change Monday 3/30/2015

Good Morning Webbers,

Tim Thomas here and it is 6:00 Monday morning. I have worked out eaten breakfast and ready for my day at the office. I always like to recap my weekends in the first part of my blog. My goal is to work a half day on Fridays from all the time I invest during the week and somehow it never happens. On Fridays I get to take some down time and spend a couple hours with my mom and daughter. It is such a huge developmental boost to my daughter and us to have my mom look over our daughter. I enjoy seeing how close the two of them are together. To this day my daughter still cries when her nani leaves for the day.

Saturday was my wife's birthday so Avery and I went on our excursion (I am a very last minute shopper). We went off to the mall to no avail. We managed to pick up a card, gift bag and a book. My daughter is afraid of the Easter Bunny. I don't really blame her. They look pretty serial. Anywho that through her so far off her game shopping at the mall was done. On the way home we stopped by our local gift store. There we petted a real chic. Avoided the bunny. Olaf got no warm hugs. However Cinderella got a rave review. We acquired the gift. Presented it to my wife. Had our traditional Birthday dinner and home.

Here is an article that does hit home with me and we try to support with our daughter even though she is still at such a young age.

From Self-Consciousness to Self-Confidence - Tips for Parents of Teens

As a parent, it can be painful to watch your teen struggle with self-consciousness and low confidence. Is there anything you can do to help build your teen's self-confidence? Here are some tips.

Learning to Fail

We want our children to be safe, physically and emotionally. But sources say that this can become too much of a good thing. If you feel the need to protect your child from any difficulty - not allowing him to date, for instance, to protect him from a broken heart; or not letting her try out for a sports team because you don't think she'll be the best - then you may end up undermining your teen's self-confidence. Learning how to try and fail and try again is one of life's most important lessons.

You may think that failure will destroy your teen - after all, if you allow him or her to fail, won't that destroy his or her self-confidence? Surprisingly, failure can be an opportunity - it's a chance to self-assess and ultimately build self-confidence.

Equip Your Teen

Letting your teen flounder on his own without providing guidance can compromise his sense of confidence. He needs some practical tools so that he feels confidently equipped to tackle problems and issues in his life. Have heart-to-heart talks about dating, schoolwork, and parental expectations, and arm your teen with practical advice on what to do in these areas of life. Sometimes, teens just need help formulating a plan of action to feel confident.

Don't Always Blame Others

We all know that parent - the mom who yells at the coach when her child strikes out, or the dad who yells at the teacher when his child is reprimanded. But is that parent you? Think carefully - do you tend to take up your teen's cause no matter what and assume the world is against her? Sometimes, in your eagerness to be a friend to your teen, you may forget that sometimes your teen is in the wrong and needs your correction, or at least your admission that she is on the wrong track.

Beautiful Facts

Most teens are not aware that the images they see on television and in magazines are largely staged. Celebrities who seem perfectly beautiful aren't necessarily so - they have the advantage of being able to spend most of every day working on their appearance, and they also have the advantage of a camera lens between themselves and the rest of the world.

Introduce your teen to the deceptive nature of magazine photography and movie cameras, and point out that keeping up appearances can be so exhausting that few celebrities have normal, healthy lives and relationships.

Well Webbers I hope you enjoyed this blog entry on Tips For Change. I am working the bugs out and will have a whole new platform ready by months end. The first quarter is finished for 2015 are you achieving your goals. What is holding you back? You have this one life are living it on your terms. If not I am here to help you.

Isn't it about time you live your life your way. After all it is your life, live it by your design.

Tim Thomas

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980